It is better to be an outcast, a stranger in one’s own country, than an outcast from one’s self. It is better to see what is about to befall us and to resist than to retreat into the fantasies embraced by a nation of the blind.
Chris Hedges

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

The Best

One can only count on the people that hang in there. If you have - one hang on to it. They be mates or not. Life is good, but only with people that make your life better not worse. But there are devils and angels everywhere. The trick is discerning them.

1 comment:

Anahera said...

My darling. I read your blog and was absolutely galvanised by your words that "hope is the one thing [the insane and depressed] need to be scripted for."

Man, can you imagine how different things would have been if Bo had found or we had provided Bo with a 'hope script' Doug? But here we are, and if we've learned anything from the distress of his suicide it's exactly what you've written. Hope is paramount.

Honey, I'm not going to try and talk you out of your bad feelings because I'm not an expert. I'm just someone who knows what it's like to be in pain and who loves you so much it hurts. I'm not sure if it would be better to share this stuff with you face to face, but I feel this medium is quieter and surer for us both. Either way, this is heart to heart and spirit to spirit and I just pray that the Holy Ghost will help us out as well. So here goes.

I want you to start by considering this statement: “Suicide is not a choice; it happens when pain exceeds resources for coping with pain.”

That’s all it’s about. You're not a bad person, or crazy, or weak, or flawed, if you feel suicidal. I mean, sure at any given time, you might feel you are any or all of those things. But please believe me, you are not. You simply are having more pain than you can cope with at that time.

Lookit, here's another statement to consider - "If I start piling
weights on your shoulders, you're going to eventually collapse ... no matter how much you want to remain standing. Willpower has nothing to do with it."

BUT (praise God) you and I are learning that suicidal feelings can be survived and we are finding
ways to do two critical things to survive them - i.e. reduce the pain, and increase the coping resources.

Well honey the salient thing right now is that you’re still here, still with me and that makes me feel really glad. You're making and taking planned steps to move into a better lifestyle, you're letting me walk this journey beside you, and you're giving me everything you're capable of.

My Doug - you are absolutely stunningly magnificent. Modesty aside, you know that you are. But there's a satanic voice whispering the opposite. Tell him to fuck off. Really, he's the loser and, if he had one, I and Brad and Krishna and Bishop and Terry and Sue and Rick and Ron and Chev and Cathy and Stephen and Bobby and
Sia and Pirika and Denise and Denny and (ALL OF US WHO LOVE YOU) would slap his lying mouth off.

I have a testimony of hope and of you Doug. Blessings and thanks my friend. I love you.